Thursday, April 22, 2010



“You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs” it is so true, but does the same principle apply even to us??? Is it that the best in us will come out when we are subjected to hurt and ill treatment? Well this is my question of concern and want to know better about it.

According to me, hurt is going to hamper one’s confidence in doing any task! Come on, why do you have to undergo hurt or ill treatment either physically or mentally to achieve anything at all is what I feel! If i have to get hurt by chance on my way of doing what I am dogged to do, I have to face it! But on the other hand, if I have to get hurt by choice, I definitely don’t want to choose it. I want to know how many of you all want to choose it???

When I was in my teens and was swimming for state, I had a friend of mine, whose dad used to hit her just because she would not give her best timings in the competition, and after every episode of hitting, she would give her best. Is it worth the hitting?? Why do u have to get hurt in order to achieve your timings. If one can, one will be doing it, why do they have to be treated like an animal is what I want to ask?? This might be a small example but still I wanted to quote! Cant u really achieve anything at all in life without being hurt and exposed to ill treatment??

I am really not impressed with the idea of “pain is gain?? For what joy?? May be this principle, will bring fruits to some,"each to their own" though! And if I must say I may not achieve anything big at all, its my problem thoroughly! I believe in “where there is a will there is a way”. If I am determined to do something I should be able to, I must not and do not want to invite hurt on my way! Well this doesn’t mean I will have or rather have an easy path to achieve the goal!

I think, things can be done and achieved when told in a genteel and an appropriate manner. This is a knack by itself I guess. Patience, plays its key role to this I suppose! It lies in what is told and in what manner it is told! Why would one not try giving their best when told in a sauve and congenial manner. Why is this wrong idea about-“pain is gain in the bargain” concept I really do not understand! I am not saying everything in life can be achieved easily and in a smooth manner! What I am asking is- is it necessary to invite hurt to grow??

Your achievement depends totally on your capabilities, does’nt it?? Do you have to undergo mental and physical turmoil to achieve big??? I am even for a second not saying that bonafides are a humbug! Definitely not! But why do you have to walk on a tight rope all the time to reach the other side of the shore when u have a path meant to reach that shore peacefully, even if it is going to take a little longer by distance and time! Whether you can reach the shore or not depends on your ability totally! Why unnecessarily tax your mental and physical strengths to achieve! If one says “Take the hurt and hardships with a smiling face” how is it possible, I mean all the time??

Finally if Hurt must and should be an invitation and an ingredient of Growth, then how do you handle that hurt please tell me???


  1. Hurt- is it an invitation to grow ? Prima facie, going literally, in a straight forward manner may sound a little insane, but i opine, that, its a kinna blessing in disguise.

    I recall a subhasthita here, Lalayet pancha varshani, dasha varshani cha tadhayeth, prapthethu shodashe varshe, putram mitra vadhachareth...where it says, a parent must hit a child , during the age of 5-15, if required. This does not mean to intentionally cause harm to the child.

    Not only in the case of Hurt, but anything for that matter, i think, the intent is more important than the content. So here, Hurt, does not necessarily mean that, its an act to cause harm or distress with a malafide motive.

    Even if we donot want to invite hurt, there are many things in life like other persons's behaviour, environment, past, ego clashes, Competition, peer pressure, ill health etc to name a few, over which we have very little or no control, which causes hurt. We cannot and should not succumb to the external factors & be bogged down by them. We have to devlop a shield, a bullet proof armour round us, to devlop the highest resitance towards any factor causing hurt. Sry my comments bigger than ur blog. But i wld like to end by saying..
    A sugarcane, is squeezed & hurt to yield the sweet juice, a sandal wood tree is cut & rubbed hard to obtain the fine paste, an oil lamp, though burning, produces light. A stone hit several times becomes the best statue and i think the best of the people had faced the worst of the its Ok.. Its not about Hurt, but our attitude of how we handle, prevent,overcome and master them....

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  3. hey achu good one , once again....thoroughly enjoyed reading it.....
    but i must say i second Akhilesh's comment, by the end of it, its not the hurt or the pain that matters but the outcome and the way we deal with the issue... taken positively, it drives us from within to excel...

  4. @aki- thanks for a wonderful description! i feel it is easier said than done though! like i have mentioned in the blog, i m not for a sec testing the bonafides. but even then, if i have to get hurt by chance, i cant help, but if i have to get hurt by choice i would not want to! would u choose it???
    @bindi- thanks dear, for ur love n support!

  5. u r wrong. takes 3 pages to make u understand. i shall comment when my steno is there.

  6. 1. You have said that you have a question of concern and want to know better about it. I hope you mean the same. Hence this comment.
    Belief and experience are different. You believe in that you have a open mind is different from you having a open mind and you experiencing an open mind. If you keep your mind open sincerely you will understand.
    Hurt is of two kinds. Hurt caused to harm and hurt caused to help. A Doctor undertakes a surgery. He hurts. He hurts to cause help. An enemy stabs. He hurts to trouble. This distinction should be well borne in mind.
    Your whole blog is not referring to hurt caused by enemy. It is referring to hurt caused by your well-wishers who are interested in your welfare. You object to the hurt caused by them.
    You go and take vaccine to prevent typhoid. A needle is introduced in your system. It hurts, you volunteer, you are happy and you want it. You do not want someone to hurt you to bring you up. Why? Your favorite word is “double standards”. Why do you want to have double standards.
    You don’t know why you are having double standards. I shall explain.
    You know the benefits of taking a vaccine. You don’t know the benefits of hurt caused by your well-wishers for your upbringing. You don’t know the world. You do not appreciate the knowledge of others. You underestimate them. You think that they are hurting you and you don’t want to invite the hurt as you do in case of vaccine.

  7. 2. The beauty of existence, nature and life is the future is uncertain. Have you thought for a minute as to how miserable the life would have been if you we to know the future. Such a magnificent gift of nature has to be thoroughly understood and enjoyed. You were an young girl, you did not know what type of husband, what type of father-in-law you would get. You don’t know today what is in store for you in future, be it good or bad. Everything is unexpected. Wisdom lies in getting prepared to meet anything with a smile.
    You may have a bad father-in-law. I don’t know. Are you able to deal with him effectively. When he is unreasonable. Are you able to assert. Forget about father-in-law. Are you able to assert in life when someone is unreasonable, when some situation is unreasonable.
    You cannot know by theory that something bad exists. You cannot know by theory that something like hurt exists. Belief is different, knowledge is different, experience is different. You must undergo experience to know what hurt is. You must know how to deal with hurt. You must be capable of meting all situations to achieve that capability. You must be exposed to hurt. You must experience the same failing which you capabilities will not grow.
    You have said in your blog that achievement depends on capabilities. But capabilities would come based on what? It comes by exposure and by experience. For that you must be exposed to hurt.
    You say you don’t suspect the bonafides. But you are suspecting the capability of your well-wishers. You are suspecting the capability of your elders. You are suspecting the capability of masters.
    You are telling that elders should have patience, they should be gentle. How will you be exposed to hurt? If you are not exposed how are you going to deal with hurt when it is caused by the society, when it is caused by bad people, when it is imposed by the uncertain future.
    Where there is a will there is a way is a humbug quotation. It means if you have the will you will achieve it by good or bad means. That is not proper way of life. When there is will you must achieve it by good means, which means you must be capable.
    I have no comments on your swimming friend. Probably I would not have hit a person for not swimming well. That is because my priorities are different. But if someone falls short of what I think is priority, I would hit in his interest.
    You are speaking of hurt caused by well-wishers. In the present day children about 14 simply do not listen to parents or respect parents. The role of parents is probably between 0 to 14. That is the impressionable age. That is the learning age. They learn a lot. At that time they must be taught to meet the unexpected eventualities of future. Care should be taken to imagine that the children may meet only bad people, may be exposed only to bad things and may be they are not lucky to have anything smooth. With this in background they must be made to grow to meet all eventualities. To provide for all these it is essential that they must be exposed to ill-treatment, hurt, punishment, unsatisfactory conditions, unpleasant conditions, uncertainties and everything which is not liked by them so that they can deal with all those situations as and when they meet such situations.
    The hurt caused by well-wishers to youngsters is a vaccine. It develops anti-bodies. Those anti-bodies will prevent the disease as and when society and uncertainty injects in large quantity the same poison which was introduced in small scale by well-wishers.
    Good luck.

  8. @FIL- i stand corrected and clarified my doubts totally with a completely open mind!!!thank u!

  9. @achu: before I could answer your question "if Hurt must and should be an invitation and an ingredient of Growth, then how do you handle that hurt please tell me???" I want to understand your understanding or rather your classification of things you bring under"HURT"